Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize