I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
