I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
