to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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