That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
