How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
