Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
