Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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