A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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