My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
