Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize