those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
