May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
