i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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