He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
