Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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