I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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