Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
