We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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