"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
