I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
