I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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