sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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