i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
