I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Drake has all the answers
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
