Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
