he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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