oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
