...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
