he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
