i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
