people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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