I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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