Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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