she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
