didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
