brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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