He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
