Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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