nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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