its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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