What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Randomize
