it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
