I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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