left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
