Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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