The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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