I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
