Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
