No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
