i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
