Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
