id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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