I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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