It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
