you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i dont even know how to be here
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
