hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
