it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
