I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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