I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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