Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
