The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
