He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
