I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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