you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
